I'm sipping the Lotus Root's Golden Cacao Milk. I'm blissing out.
I've taken my family to bed, although of course the oldest & youngest have reappeared before me, one to nurse & one because he is a teenager, & therefore, nocturnal. Now that they are zonked, I'm able to settle in to the final quiet I've been waiting for, for about a week.
I don't handle that kind of stretch well.
A week with things, people, the chaos of life is great. A week without alone time is eventually brutal. My focused two hours each day has been spent handling business. Disciplined, I don't do the multitask thing with work & family. I've summoned the Relaxation Response many times each day, but always in the company of others. This moment, this kind of hush has been elusive, with all four boys home, & of course D, so that's a house of six that are now, oh, yay, oh, thank goodness, asleep for at least the next 5 hours. I'm going to pull an all-nighter. I just want to.
So while I'm celebrating the fact that I can, I wanted to first say, oh, my great spirit, please. Drink this. Join me. It's so good, & it's a happy medicine infusion. In fact, I made mine to get out of the funk, the pent up energy, the thwarted intentions of the week, the failure to be able to respond in depth to the many intense emails many of you sent - 33, in fact, in the three days after I sent the Capacity Expansion map. I wanted to respond so badly to the self-doubt, the sense of failure, the anger at possibility & envy + frustration at examples of excellence. I wanted to honor your reaching out, courage, bravery, & sacred percolation process. I made it to ritualize the sinking in, the honoring of our conversation. To elevate my frequency to joy, to expand my heartspace to include my guides, so that I'm not speaking alone.
And so. Here we are.
There is something about a hot mug, yes? When made with a prayer, it's a moment of miracle. An invitation to fire & water to have their way with us, a presencing of those plant keepers that held each root, & the potter who threw each vessel. There's a prayer I mumble, a song, while I fumble around, letting the elements come together:
Burn it all away, Kali, Burn it all away. If it doesn't serve, Kali, burn it all away.
There is a poem that my brother Franz & I have been stealing from each other's walls for 30 years. It begins,
"When you pray, enter the room, as if for the last time..."
Even now, those words bring me to some kind of tears. Do you hear it? The possibility of absolute completion? That we can pray, & literally, everything will change? This kind of promise makes me giddy: Things will shift such that we are unrecognizable to ourselves. When we walk in, having given the unseen angels permission to support our path, we walk in a state of declaration: I surrender. I give up. I Offer Up my experience to the Great Mystery.
Or as I like to call it, #thegreatfullness .
One of my teachers, Lynne Twist, who hosts our annual holiday party at her home with Bill, explains the difference between gratitude & gratefulness, here:
If this speaks to you, her book, The Soul of Money, will bring fairy lights to your work & money life. She's one of my elders, so I've also shared a longer video below for those that want to tap into some of the source teachings.
A few of the questions that came thru last week were about elders, & where do we find elders if we don't have any?
I believe we all have a karass, a body of souls with whom we are karmically entwined. With Lynne, her book appeared fresh-of-the-press, when I was in my 20's, probably from my mom, who has thousands upon thousands of amazing books. I devoured it. As it turned out, Lynne was already connected to us peripherally because of her early training with Landmark Education's senior programs, of which we had done every course, so we had many friends in common. Later, when I hosted a couple of tables for a YES! fundraiser, Lynne spoke & did "the ask," offering up the most beautiful, generous, spiritually dialed invitation to give that I had ever heard. She tapped right into the heart of why I was there. Lynne has a massive, global impact, so I am just one of so many, many that look to her. As it is with our karass, there is no finding each other, as much as it is as series of many small reunions.
I talk about it a little more, alongside a few more answers to the emails, here.
In Great Fullness,
ps - here's the Kali lyrics in full:
INDIAN SPIRITUAL SONG TO ASK HEALING FROM THE WRATHFUL GODESS KALI - THE DESTROYER OF THE EGO.
KALI BURN IT ALL AWAY
Om namo kali kali om namo A- G A-
Om namo kali kali om namo x2 D- A- G A-
Oh great mother we invoke you in the space A- G A-
Take away the pain and fill us with your grace x2 D- A- G A-
Kali burn it all away, burn it all away A- G A-
If it does not serve us then burn it all away D- A- G A-
Also Known as Black Mother, Kali-Ma, Raksha-Kali
Kali is a Hindu aspect of Devi, who is the ultimate godess. kali is the goddess of the endings of cycles, the death and transformation energy that lets go of the old and brings in the new. Some are threatened by kali's seemingly destructive power; however, Kali is actually a loving energy that helps free us of fear. She only destroys that which could keep us in bondage, or which could slow or divert our Divine mission, in the same way that a loving motherwould take away dangerous items from her children.
pps - here's important, game-changing ideas on money at Stanford Business School: