Rest, then Rise :: Boundaries

In this tender time, no one should expect you to come to the door, to take guests, or watch you watch them fold your laundry & make soup. And yet… it happens. There’s all kinds of good intentions that come your way from all kinds of people, or maybe, you really, really need a little support from folks who aren’t that great but it’s all you have. Most of the time you really want this company, but it’s just a lot! There’s milk everywhere, you’re tired, you’re hungry, you’re attending to mysterious, constant cues from baby & there are…hormones. Emotions. Dynamics from before baby came. Regardless, this isn’t time to take care of “them.” This is the time to take care of any rest, bonding & healing that need to happen. So that means, 

"No. No, I’m not going to answer the door. Or yes, I’m going to unlock the door, but I’m going to lock my bedroom door. No, I’m not going to go downstairs. No, I’m not going to receive that beautiful lasagna. {Thank you for leaving it on the step.} No, I’m not going to keep you company because you are washing our dishes. No, I’m sleeping, because the baby is sleeping. No, I’m not going to answer my phone, texts, or email. I’m learning how to nurse this baby, who has different cues, needs, sounds, smiles & style than every other baby & I am going to be here, right now, for this experience…"

You don’t have to make anyone feel comfortable in your home, you don’t have to cater to anyone’s need to be seen. You don’t have to be there for other people’s stories, neediness, loneliness or drama. You can do that later, if you must. They are there because they ultimately want to help. If someone is there to look involved, to be seen, to take pictures, or to meet their own needs, then their visit can wait. You don’t have to explain yourself, love. So let them help, & remember: No is a complete sentence.

-Maya