woodstackers

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I so enjoy watching young men jump for their work gloves when there's wood to stack.  Everyone participates on his own terms, & this is Real's first year fully participating.  It doesn't matter if they're 1 years old  or 91, men do love to provide.  

 

One of the great things I learned from the Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women Course last year: for men, nothing is worth doing, but everything is worth providing.  

 

I really have so much more appreciation for all the things my fathers, brothers, sons & male friends do when I remember to stop voting on whether or not they are doing the "right" thing.  When I take the time to look & notice, I see that they are always, at all times working to provide something for others.  What was most striking to me at that time was to see how the other women in the course, all much older & more experienced than me, went from feeling unsafe in the world because of men, to realizing that they are so much safer in the world because of men.  That it's just a matter of working with some of our fundamental differences.

 

D did the Understanding Women course this past weekend.  And what's come out of it is a man who's so in tune with what I can & can't do, that I'm feeling like I can do anything.  The first thing he did was apologize, "for not realizing what a gift it is that I will sit & listen" to him for hours, given how diffused my attention is between my other accountabilities.  And then he said he finally got that I can do anything, but not if I'm cold, because then I'm miserable.  And that he's sorry he asks me how he can help, instead of asking what he can do. Then he had us sit down and make a list of things where I have full veto power.  Of course, I've always had veto power, but I tend to not veto things, because I'm committed to other people's full self-expression.  But I have to say, I really feel empowered by this list!  

 

This was all in the first 20 minutes, & needless to say, there's been some big & subtle changes around here.  It's all had me so inspired, to feel partnered with in these small ways.  I've gone into some kind of protective nesting mode, & my house is sparkling clean.  He really wants me to take the Queen's Course, to support me in having all of my needs met, because he understands now that it's not just me!  All mamas feed others first, hold their pee to do 10 more things, & shovel food in their mouth, ravenous, because they have put their own needs last.  He wants me to be full & overflowing.  Lucky me.

 

People think too much.  But then I go outside & see the squirrels doing the same nesting, changing, protecting & providing.  It all works in the same ways...

 

Annie, a fellow crafting Fishy in the Fish Bowl, & who also had the same midwife as us, has me in East Coast considerations, again...

 

And this mama is reminding me to keep it real...