cornhole vs organic family life

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I am under a lot of pressure.  I know it doesn't look like it.  But it's true.  May I answer a couple of questions here?  (This has to do with the fact that there have been 7 NFL or college coaches & their wives on this island, 2 of them in my family.  I'll explain more in a minute). 

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This island is obsessed with cornhole.  Cornhole.  On the dock.  In the woods.  Grown adults, college students, kids, toddlers, interior designers.  All throwing tube socks, filled with corn, into little holes.  Morning, noon & night.  It is very, very competitive.  Folks sit at the dining room table with their beers, dental floss, sewing needles & Sharpies, stitching regulation-approved bean bags. Really.  We mark them, Red.  Blue.  These bean bags have uniform colors.

 

The only person who can keep score is my truly brainiac brother-in-law, one of the aforementioned coaches.  The other ones sit at the sidelines, using their famous chicken-scratch to take field notes.  Hilariously, he's really the only one genius enough & confident enough to know the score at any given moment.  But I swear the rules change with the amount of alcohol consumed. 


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With Dad & Grandpa watching this closely, my little guy takes on these bean bags with utmost reverence.

 

It is a metaphor for the over-all sense of competition here.  They compete in their sleep, gently, roughly, lovingly, seriously & lightly.  They do it with nudges, pushes, yelling, whispering, under their breath, as they give hugs & as they serve dinner.  It's great fun, because they are all deeply loving & encouraging, as well.

 

I love cornhole.  And I am non-competitive.  I'm no good at it.  I always end up jumping up & down, clapping & cheering on the others.  Even when I make the finals & lose at the last second.  I'm happy for them.   I can't get into it when folks are crushed over a loss.  Furious about a mistake.  Devastated over a game.  Winning or losing never affected my family paycheck, the mood in my home or where we moved next.  I try to be as compassionate as I can.  And I'm always ready to party when we win.

 

I've been asked a few questions up here in several different ways.

 Let me just answer...

~We are California natives.  We live in a community where "organic living" comes easy.  It is first nature & everything from the bikepaths to the grocery stores to the rec pool support our lifestyle.  Where we live, it is not extreme, far-fetched or difficult for our marriage.

 

~I birthed my babies at home, one with an MD who was equal partners with his midwives & 2 with midwives of over 30 years.  At all 3 births, those attendants were totally hands-off (with the exception of back rubs & loving words).  2 were born in the water & swam the first moments they were born.  One was born in my studio.  I worked, studied & visualized like an athlete before hand to have those births.  They were co-created with my boys, who were full participants in their births. 

 

~I am clear we are very lucky to have had those births.  There are folks we love who were even more intentional about their births. Mostly they went as planned, & sometimes they did not.  And they were the right births for those children, with meaning & gifts that showed up later.  

 

~I have been nursing or pregnant for over 8 years, with a break of 11 months.  I wear them constantly for the first 6 months. It helps me to know what their needs are & how they communicate, it let's them practice being resourceful & trusting the world, as I am their main resource then.  I tandem nursed the younger two.  I admit, it's difficult. I recommend that if it feels right.  But I hold that time in my heart, & those boys hold it in their smile & their swagger.  

 

~They have their own room, their own beds they use & they have a forever spot in our bed. 

 

~We are 100% organic in our home, from our mascara to our risotto.  And when we eat out, or with others, we are not.  Our chemical-free lifestyle is part of our healthcare.  

 

~We are clear that the vaccine decision is 12 different decisions.  That every parent needs to do their own research & come to their own right choice.  We are very informed on this subject, from what they are made of to the statistical, unbiased differences in the perceived dangers of aluminum vs. mercury.    That those who believe parents who opt out of certain vaccinations are "leaches," might first understand the history & purpose of each shot to make sure they are consistent & up-to-date with theirs, as well!  Our specific choices for each vaccine are personal, but let's just say that we nurse long enough & have our children home enough that most vaccines do not even apply to us from both a personal health & the public health perspective, according to the American Medical Association!!  www.thevaccinebook.com

 

~My son is a vegetarian/pescatarian.  D & Free eat organic, free-range, grass-fed bison & beef.  I eat organic, free-range chicken.  And we actually pray for "animal angels," bred or harvested specifically to help nourish our bodies & planet.  We did this after a decade as vegetarians.  We are a gluten-free family.  Are diets will shift as we shift.

 

~We are project-based "life-learners."  I was a homeschooler.  That feels healthy & right to me. The problems I have are problems that arise out of my larger commitments.  Worthwhile problems.  I start everything from the idea that any resource is available, any skill can be acquired.  We want this for our kids.  We support public schools & are part of a public charter created for homeschoolers.  They pay us to homeschool.

 

~We bike everywhere as our main source of transportation.  Our whole town does.

 

~I identify as a Filipino-American.  I am Pinay, I come from a huge & amazing tribe.  We belong to a culture based in an entirely different country, with 7,007 islands of it's own.

 

Whew!  

 

That's a long list of answers up there.  I don't walk around with a list or use my lifestyle as an ongoing conversation topic.  I expect differences.  However, I'm expected to use those differences to compete. On my sensitive soul, it often feels like I'm being asked to explain myself.  So.  This is my explanation. 

 

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I have made examined choices.  I hope everyone does.  I feel empowered in those choices.  They are not better than anyone else's, & I may change my mind.  I can't compare my mothering, marriage or eating to others.   The rest is spilled milk.