so much so dear

southern oregon :: giant bumblebee, clover, triticale, california poppy over the farm pond

Right now, there's just so much I'm holding in my community, all of it miraculous, some of it inconvenient, some of it tragic, most of it gifts that seem utterly unlikely.  And I'm holding all of that beauty with a focused & delicate commitment to the only thing I can do, which is to hold on, be available & be totally present to this passing burst. 

Commitment is not mastery, just practice, so things seem to be unfolding in a way that feels a kinda startling, despite the fact that there's loads & loads of intention at play.  I'm not always remembering to breathe or to say thank you or to be of service, and, all around me folks are on their best behavior.  Which is not to say they are well-behaved or helpful, actually there are elements of demetia, deliberate confusion & inconsideration mixed in, but never mind all that. People are blowing my mind with their goodness.

And I couldn't be happier to have them all here, in my life, right now.  It's everything I've asked for & more.